Today my journal came in the mail and I’m pretty excited to start writing in it.
As you can see it’s a pretty standard black journal. I really like that it has a strap to close it so it doesn’t get damaged in my bag or something. Not that I would ever have it in my bag, but you know… if you put a book in your bag it just attracts shit and the pages get destroyed. It’s really annoying.
Here’s my biggest dilemma with my journal. I don’t know if I should load it with all the bad shit happening in my life right now. I know that was kind of the point, but I want to try to start looking at the happy things in my life to help myself perk up. I’ve already started adding some happy quotes to the front of it that I will see each time I open it to write, and I plan to add more as I find them.
Maybe my journal doesn’t need to be just happy or just sad. Maybe it can be just whatever it is. I know this sadness will pass soon, so it will get a lot better after that. One of the quotes I wrote on the front is “Let it go, this too shall pass” and I really believe that it will, it’s just EXTREMELY hard for me to remember that right now. By the way, if you’ve never seen that music video why are you still reading this? Go. Watch. It. The whole thing is a continuous shot of the most amazing Rube Goldberg machine. That cheered me up significantly.
I’m still reading Dune. It’s taking me entirely too long. I’m sorry guys, I feel like I’m failing you. I am SO CLOSE to finishing but every time I just can’t. My anxiety is really high right now and any time I’m not really working on something it just gives me a hard time. How about this… I will finish it this weekend for sure. Mainly because I have other books to read and I can’t spend all this time on Dune, despite how much I love it.
I was thinking yesterday about how I can help myself get out of the rut that I’m in and you know, I have just way too many hobbies to be focused on negative things. I knit, and have a project I need to finish. I write short stories (which I actually did yesterday! I didn’t finish it but I got about a thousand words of it down). I write blogs (hello, blog). I love discovering new music. I love doing my makeup but makeup is expensive so I only really do this if I’m having a super shitty day and feel inspired. I read books upon books a month. I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get some good stuff done in my life.
This is a long blog about a journal and me being sad, so I need to end it.
Tetra is very suspicious of fire places.