Meet My Kitties: Chief

Chief is a really cute cat. He’s also a complete fucker. He was my husband’s kitty long before I met him, so I can’t give you a bunch of details on how he was as a kitten. I also can’t tell you we have a super close bond or anything because we don’t. In fact, he’s too far up my husband’s ass that he probably doesn’t even know I exist.

I still love him though, because goddamn is he cute. He has the most adorable little baby face I’ve ever seen in my life. He is also completely and madly in love with balls. No, not his balls because he doesn’t have them. I mean anything he can kick around or throw into the air. He loves batting sparkly balls all over the house, leaving pieces of sparkle on every surface. We will find his sparkles on our clothes, in between our toes, all over the carpet, in the cat food, and even in the litter box.

Once he gets a ball, he will throw it up in the air, hit it across the room, and run after it. That’s pretty typical cat stuff, but he will also walk around with it in his mouth and yowl. Or sit by it and yowl. Or lose it and yowl. We usually end up taking them away because he is so annoying when he has a ball.

Chief is also a little psychotic. He will be perfectly fine one second, then running at top speed through the house the next. He always has a thousand yard stare kind of look on his face, like he’s having some sort of Vietnam flashback.

He also absolutely hates being locked out of rooms. We keep our bedroom door closed at all times, and he spends every waking moment that he isn’t yowling at a ball waiting for the door to open so he can zoom in and hide under the bed. The only way to get him out once he’s slipped inside is to lure him with treats or one of his beloved fuzzy balls.

Nicknames: Beef. Just Beef.

Favorite toy: Balls

Favorite food: Nothing. He tolerates kibble, but he’s crazy in an “I never eat because all I can think about is my ball” kind of way

Favorite activity: Yowling, playing soccer, and staring at closed doors

Hates: Being locked out of a room, when the ball hides under the fridge, dinosaur costumes